Candide: a SYNOPSIS
As the Overture concludes, Voltaire, a very old man,
begins to relate the tale of four young people,
Candide, Paquette, Maximilian, and Cunegonde,
who live in Westphalia in the castle of the Baron Thunder-Ten-Tronck.
The noble Candide is a bastard nephews of the the Baron,
the sexy Paquette serves as a maid to the Baroness,
the beautiful Cunegonde is the Baron's virgin daughter,
and the handsome Maximilian is her self-centered brother.
The four, with the Baron and Baroness, describe their perfect existence
Life is Happiness Indeed
Voltaire explains that the four young people are introduced
to the realities of Life by the wise Dr. Pangloss.
Voltaire transforms himself into Dr. Pangloss by putting on an academic cap and gown.
He leads his students into the castle schoolroom where,
he lectures them on the fact they are living in
The Best of All Possible Worlds
He dismisses everyone but Paquette,
insisting she must stay for an advanced physics lesson.
As Cunegonde runs off, she observes Pangloss making romantic overtures to Paquette.
Pangloss explains he is giving Paquette a lesson in gravity.
Candide appears, chinning himself on a tree branch.
Cunegonde joins him.
He is madly in love with her.
She proceeds to give him an advanced physics lesson and they kiss,
happily making plans for their future together
Oh, Happy We
They are suddenly interrupted by
Maximilian, the Baron, the Baroness, Dr. Pangloss, and Paquette.
When Candide and Cunegonde state their intention to marry,
the Baron says his daughter cannot marry a bastard and Candide is exiled.
Candide, sorely grieved, sings of his certainty
that this awful turn of events is for the best.
It Must be so
Two men trick him into drinking to the health of the King of Bulgaria,
stuff him in a sack, and drag him off to the Bulgarian Army.
Bulgarian soldiers enter and rapidly slaughter the Baron, Baroness, and Maximilian.
They carry Cunegonde off, kicking.
They plan to sell her to the men of their regiment
O Miserere
Candide's captors have stopped to rest.
He is still in the sack.
His captors are shot to death by two Westphalian soldiers.
A Bulgarian soldier brings an abused Cunegonde onstage and leaves her for dead.
Cunegonde and Candide (who is still inside the sack) sing of their lost innocence,
united in spirit, although many miles apart.
Reprise: Oh, Happy We
Dr. Voltaire explains that Candide was next released from the sack
by a band of strolling players and abandoned in Holland.
Cunegonde is moved from brothel to brothel until she catches the attention of Issachar,
a very wealthy man in Lisbon, and the Grand Inquisitor,
who now share her pleasures.
Cunegonde sings of her sordid role in life
Glitter and be Gay
A volcano erupts near Lisbon at the same time an earthquake shakes the city.
Candide is washed up on the shore of a fishing village.
When he suggests that this turn in events casts doubt on the
best of all possible worlds
theory, he is scolded by Dr. Voltaire.
Dr. Pangloss appears as a beggar who has lost his nose and several fingers.
He tells Candide of the demise of everyone at the castle and informs him
that Cunegonde is raped and dead.
Candide is distraught.
Pangloss assures him everything that has happened is for best.
His words are overheard by an agent of the Inquisition.
Pangloss and Candide are arrested as heretics.
The Inquisition plans to purge the city of heretics to prevent future earthquakes.
A crowd of happy, excited citizens gather to witness the trials and executions of the heretics.
A splendidly attired Cunegonde and her companion, the Old Lady,
watch from a box as the crowd celebrates
Auto Da Fe
Candide and Pangloss are tried by the Inquisitor and recognized by Cunegonde.
Pangloss is hung and Cunegonde faints as Candide is flogged.
The voice of Dr. Voltaire assures him that
from what is worse, what can come but something better?
The Old Lady blindfolds Candide and leads him to Cunegonde.
On the way, he mourns his state
This World
The blindfold is removed and he sees Cunegonde
You Were Dead, You Know
Both of Cunegonde's lovers visit her while Candide is there.
Candide accidentally kills both men.
The Old Lady insists that they must flee to Cadiz.
She grabs a box of jewels and they escape.
When the jewels are stolen, the Old Lady decides to raise funds by seducing three Old Dons
I Am Easily Assimilated
However, they resist her charms and totter away.
The gullible Candide is tricked into leading a relief party
to rescue the Holy Jesuits of Montevideo from heathen attackers.
He is told he will be the captain of a ship that leaves in three hours.
Candide, Cunegonde, and the Old Lady celebrate their coming journey to the New World
Reprise: I Am Easily Assimilated
In the New World, the swaggering hot-blooded Governor of Cartagena, Colombia,
is considering the purchase of two new concubines.
The concubines turn out to be Paquette and Maximilian, now dressed as a female.
The Governor rejects Paquette and selects Maximilian,
for whom he expresses a strong attraction
My Love
Over Maximilian's objections the Governor summons a priest to marry them.
During the vows the Governor discovers his "bride" has two pineapples stuffed in his shirt.
The Governor orders Maximilian hanged, but the priest offers to buy Maximilian
for his Holy Fraternity.
On board ship, Cunegonde confesses her growing doubt in the teachings of Dr. Pangloss
shortly before the ship is boarded by pirates,
who knock Candide unconscious and carry Cunegonde and the Old Lady away.
When Candide questions Man's need to massacre, cheat, and murder,
Dr. Voltaire's voice again scolds him.
Candide arrives at the Jesuit's stronghold where he is joyfully reunited
with Paquette and Maximilian, now dressed as monks.
When Maximilian learns of Candide's intention to marry Cunegonde,
he assaults Candide, who accidentally kills him.
Paquette disguises Candide as a monk and they escape into the jungle.
After weeks of travel, they come upon the utopian city of Eldorado,
where everything is truly for the best.
There is no war, no hunger, and no greed.
The people and the animals are all wise, gentle and articulate.
Two talkative pink sheep converse with a peaceful lion to prove the point
Eldorado
Candide and Paquette who are dressed in golden robes soon realize
they hate peace and solitude.
Candide misses Cunegonde.
Candide and Paquette pack the sheep with gold and jewels and leave.
In the meantime, the Old Lady is abandoned by the pirates and carried off by a Pygmy.
The Pygmy sells her to a German botanist who sells her as a Madam of a brothel.
They travel to Cartagena, where they find the Old Lady on the street.
They buy her freedom and she tells them Cunegonde is in Constantinople.
Spying their riches, the Governor offers to sail them to Constantinople
on the frigate Santa Rosalia.
He rows them to the frigate on a shaky-looking skiff
Bon Voyage
The skiff capsizes; Candide, Paquette, and the Old Lady end up on a tiny desert island
with a single palm tree.
They have lost their sheep and their new fortune.
The sheep find them and they all rejoice
Reprise: Best of All Possible Worlds
They see a sail in the distance and know they are saved.
They arrive in Constantinople in time to see Cunegonde jump out of a cake
dressed as a Muslim slave.
Candide and Cunegonde reunite again
Reprise: You Were Dead, You Know
He buys her, reserving one bag of gold on Paquette's advice.
Then Maximilian (who wasn't killed after all), who reappears as a slave,
convinces Candide to buy his freedom with the last bag of gold.
The Old Lady offers to solve the future for the weary band
by leading them to the Cave of a Wise Man.
The Sage turns out to be Dr. Pangloss, who prattles on about the meaning of Life.
While Pangloss babbles, a stray piece of paper floats into Candide's hand.
The paper states that the natural function of man is
to dig, spin, work without regret
for yesterday or hope for tomorrow.
For Man it is only work that makes life endurable
Candide says they will buy a farm and cast aside wondering about the meaning
of a meaningless world.
They will fulfill their natural function working God's earth from dawn to dusk
Make Our Garden Grow
A cow appears, as Candide, Cunegonde, and the company in rustic clothes pick up pitchforks,
buckets, and other farm implements.
The company sings that Eden can't be found;
the sweetest flowers and the fairest trees are grown in solid ground.
They explain:
We're neither pure nor wise nor good.
We'll do the best we know.
We'll build our house and chop our wood.
And make our garden grow.
As they lift their grateful eyes to God, the cow drops dead of the pox and Dr. Voltaire,
back in nightshirt,
draws the curtain.